Adding a Second Baby to your Family

It takes a while to figure all of the things out when a new baby is born. We spend oodles of time researching things, asking friends for advice, buying all of the right gear and reading so many books to prepare ourselves for bringing a new baby into our homes. There’s never any doubt that our hearts will explode and the new addition will receive so much of our undivided attention in those early days and months.

Becoming pregnant again often coincides with the exact time that we finally feel like we’ve got it all figured out. All of a sudden, a sibling is coming into the family and there are so many questions: How will I have enough love for more than one baby? How will my older child react to their new sibling? How will I entertain my older child while holding a baby? Will we ever get anywhere on time?

We asked our members who have been through this transition and we learned some great tools and strategies to help you get through this transition!

While there were many really great strategies mentioned, our favourite was this one:

Ask for help from your partner and others often. As mammas, we often have a really hard time asking for help or verbalizing to our partners the exact items we need help with. Thinking we can and should do it all ourselves makes asking for help difficult. Please don’t fall into this trap and use any and all help that is offered! Take time to consider some of the tasks you might need help with (cooking, food prep, laundry, watching children while you shower, playing with older sibling while you feed the baby, watching the baby so that you can have dedicated time with older sibling, etc) so that when someone inevitably asks what they can help with, you can easily tell them:)

These are some other strategies that our members found helpful when they welcomed another baby into their home:

• wear your baby so that you have 2 hands for sibling(s)

• have a bin of special toys for your older child to play with when you’re feeding or busy with your baby

• keep your routine for siblings the same (do story time and bedtime for both children together)

• if budget allows, keep your older child in preschool or daycare (they often love their time with friends and you get one-on-one time with your baby)

• eat meals together as much as possible

• keep any changes for your older child to a minimum (for example: potty training, moving from a crib, getting rid of a soother, etc)

• keep a reasonably regular routine or schedule throughout the day - kids thrive on routine and schedules

• put aside dedicated 1 on 1 time with your oldest on a regular basis

• talk to friends via text, phone or in person - look for friends that have similar philosophies in parenting as you do

• try not to crowdsource using social media - it’s overwhelming and you may not know or agree with all of the philosophies that are out there

• understand awake times for both baby and older sibling so that you can help prevent them from becoming overtired (happy sleep company reference)

• talk to older child often, while pregnant to reassure them that some things might change but your love for them won’t

• have a small gift to offer your older child that’s from the baby

• help prepare your older child by reading books being a big sibling

• if your older child wants to help, get them their own “baby” and have them mimic the things you do with their baby doll - they will feel like they are looking after a baby as well!

If you’re about to welcome your new addition to your family, we wish you all the best for a smooth and easy transition! And, if you’ve already come through on the other side, please leave us a comment and tell us how it went or if you used a strategy that we didn’t have on our list.

Fitmama Strong Durham has been operating in the Durham Region since 2010. We offer prenatal fitness, prenatal yoga, babywearing fitness, stroller fitness, live-online classes and and on-demand library of workouts. Our in-person and online community is a thriving and welcoming space for you and your littles. Find your program here

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